Thank you for applying at The Bastion. Before we can accept you, there are a few points we need clarified.
- We would like to see more in the Kid's history and personality. You did touch on quite a few different areas, but we would like to see more depth in what you have written. Go into detail about how his mother's disappearance affected him, why he had it in him to take a second tour on the walls, what the actions say about who he is and how he acts, and so forth.
Along with this, we did enjoy reading the way you wrote it now, it was very entertaining. But if you find it difficult to keep up the Rucks-narration-style in your edits, you can drop it for a more normal style of writing, if it suits you.
-We were also wondering, will you be playing the Kid as voiceless? Or will you be having him talk within the game? Either choice is fine, this won't affect our decision on the revision, we were just curious.
You have 72 hours to post your revisions. Please post them as a reply to this comment.
If you have any questions about the revision request, please feel free to contact us.
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branchandroot
REVISION
Date: 2013-11-27 03:56 am (UTC)Thank you for applying at The Bastion. Before we can accept you, there are a few points we need clarified.
- We would like to see more in the Kid's history and personality. You did touch on quite a few different areas, but we would like to see more depth in what you have written. Go into detail about how his mother's disappearance affected him, why he had it in him to take a second tour on the walls, what the actions say about who he is and how he acts, and so forth.
Along with this, we did enjoy reading the way you wrote it now, it was very entertaining. But if you find it difficult to keep up the Rucks-narration-style in your edits, you can drop it for a more normal style of writing, if it suits you.
-We were also wondering, will you be playing the Kid as voiceless? Or will you be having him talk within the game? Either choice is fine, this won't affect our decision on the revision, we were just curious.
You have 72 hours to post your revisions. Please post them as a reply to this comment.
If you have any questions about the revision request, please feel free to contact us.